ang mga higante ay di yumuyuko.
at hindi makukulong ang isang isip na nakapagpasya
na tumayo at sagutin ang mundo.
dahil ang taong malayang pumili ay bathala.

stephen king called it a "roundness". its the quality of some well crafted stories wherein everything comes together and there are no loose ends. where the ellipses are completed. where everything gains Significance. you see the roundness when things happen just so, when events make poetic statements, when the killer realizes his mortal blow was dealt by a victims daughter, when it is revealed that the last leaf was held through the storm by the german guy, when luke meets his father, when ahab meets moby dick, when you realize soylent green is people, when you realize who kaiser soze really is, when you realize "there was no aaron counselor", when it all comes full circle, a nice, closed curve. i feel that roundness right now; the gladness at the end of a good story.

[note that circles are defined by constant things (a radius) and ridiculously irrational things (like the value of pi). i think you can relate that to life somehow but i'll leave that part to somebody else (this is what happens when you read Cryptonomicon)]

this is what would happen if i say everything i think of ALL of the time

professor: ...is of course the most widely used method to insure randomization of... yes mister galang, you were raising you're hand?
galang: sir, i think we have neglected to discuss one method of data gathering that has proven useful throughout history and enjoys widespread application even now.
professor: talaga?! i'm sure we have covered... well, okay, what data gathering method do you have in mind?
galang: interrogation with torture sir.
professor: (nervous laugh) oh. well. you have a good sense of humor mister galang. we of course know that ethically spe...
galang: i am particularly interested in the question of whether there will be a change in responses to a personality inventory if the participants are made to complete it while their feet are dipped in battery acid and...
professor: (hypertensive fuming) mister galang! hesusmariahosef! this has gone far en...
galang: ...there is of course difficulty in application. little children will be especially tricky and would require more "creative" manipulation...
professor: (apoplectic convulsing) eeek! (thud)
galang: sir? pwede ko bang gawing thesis eto? sir?
professor: (post-mortem drooling)

storms are great. almost as good as a burning building. hindi naman ako yung tipong lagi nalang "astig! gulo, pinsala, kamatayan!". hindi naman palagi. nakakamangha lang talaga pagnakakakita ka ng display of elemental force. like being drawn to the beauty of a nuclear mushroom cloud. appreciate abstractions.


storm appreciation (or tropical repression)

keep your umbrella, i'll walk in the storm
where pneumonias are born
we'll cut to the chase and bleed out the warmth

ill weather it fits me like spandex on thighs
like the crush of a vise
i'll sing and i'll shout as the clouds capsize

flowers in flood and puddles in bloom
no sun and no moon
just me in a brown polyester cocoon

you'll sweat like ice, it rains like blood
the everlasting glut
when you're lord of the frogs and god of the mud

and then Virgil said "At dito naman ay ang impyerno ng mga masasamang silya na hindi nagsisimba, nagrorosaryo o nagkukumpisal. sila ren yung mga may drawing ng etits at may mga nakaukit na formula sa physics. kung mapapansin mo lahat sila ay right-handed. all right handed chairs go to hell". and then Dante said "bakit?". and then Virgil said "Sorry, you must ask your question in the form of an answer" then Dante said "lousy tour guide"

-Dante's Inferno Special DVD Edition, Canto III (yung may ihawan)

primetime tv is not worth it. its either news or its trash. the encyclopedia britannica is more entertaining. like the article on a french poet, playwright and misogynist (someone who feels contempt for females). it ends abruptly with the statement "Fearing blindness, he died by his own hand". now what can you say about a man like that? may sayad lang ba talaga sya o malakas lang talaga ang paninindigan nya kahit gano kabaluktot? ano kaya ang mga sumagi sa isip nya bago sya naging multo? minahal kaya sya ng nanay nya? breastfed kaya sya o Lactum? I am someone good at finding answers, but the first piece of real wisdom i have learned in 22 years is that sometimes there aren't any, or its not worth finding.

i call it "the arsonist sleeps and someone is coming". i can also call it "waiting for santa claus". it looks much better bigger

being an arsonist is one of my fantasy vocations, along with being a professional thief, being a 16th century mercenary-scholar and being a xenobiologist (someone who studies biota on other planets). there's something romantic about burning buildings. its good to know that i can still draw.

walangyang hangin toh andumi dumi. pag uwi ko nalang laging anlaki ng kulangot ko. parang lagi nalang ako may ubo. tapos halos lahat pa ng kabarkada ko nagyoyosi. dun nalang kaya ako magdorm sa lung center. bayaran pa siguro nila ako para mapagaralan nila ang aking organ-formerlly-known-as-lungs. sana pwede ko pa trade-in yung baga ko. kaya lang kahit pang bopis ata wala nang kukuha neto. samahan ko kaya ng kidney? pwede mo kaya ibenta ang mga daliri mo sa paa sa black market? di ko naman sila masyadong ma mimis. siguro mahihirapn lang ako tumakbo at sumayaw pero mangangalahati ang trabaho ng pagkukuko. fair trade. gusto ko sanang bumili ng masmahahabang daliri sa kamay. may mga chord na mahirap pag maiksi daliri. titingin nga ako sa buy and sell. siguradong meron dun. kung meron sa inyong may extrang daliri na gustong magbenta i ym nyo nalang ako. sana pag isang set may discount. maganda ren siguro kung puro index finger nalang noh? gusto ko ren sana bumili ng bigote. yung makapal. yung pang sabotage ng beastie boys. yung pang josef stalin. para magkamukha na kami ni chichi. groovy.

since im not man enough to read it without flinching all the time its probably better if i leave it alone. all the bad mojo im feeding myself is gonna ruin my 2nd sem momentum. gotta get myself some euphoria morning and run in the park. ive been told that running is good for the heart. and there is still christmas to look forward to. its always good to have things to look forward to. i need a new bike.

papal power

the only requirement for becoming pope is that you have to be catholic. technically i could be pope one day. or someone could make this into a reality tv show. The Fisherman's Apprentice. Vying for Vicar. Miter My Turn. The All New Inquisition. Dude Where are My Keys? (Vatican Idol wouldnt be right since idolatry is a sin) well, if i become pope i will immediately call for the cannonization of Jeff Buckley. The Most Excellent and Melancholy Saint Jeff Buckley.

(whispher from off-stage) is he even catholic?

ha? ano ngayon? ako ang papa kaya shut up you heretic you. gusto mong makatikim ng x-com (isang term na ipapauso ni papa mute). i am DaRak!

im reading shogun to pass the time. its nice and thick so it gives good mileage for my money. the japanese have the cutest names for dicks and fucking. Peerless Pestle, Heavenly Spear, spraying Joyful Juice into Enchanted Chambers. maybe i can think of othrs. Velvet Pagoda? Esteemed Siege Cannon? My Big Fat Katana with Scabbard? japanese are fun

fak you chris cornell youre so sexy i want to suck your pick

Cant Change Me


She can do anything at all
Have anything she pleases
The power to change what she thinks is wrong
So what could she want with me?

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she’s trying to read me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me
No she can’t change me

She has the daylight at her command
She gives the night it’s dreams
She can uncover your darkest fear
And make you forget you feel it

But wait just one minute more
I can see that she’s trying to free me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me

Suddenly I can see everything that’s wrong with me
But what can I do?
I’m the only thing I really have at all

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she’s trying to need me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me
No she can’t change me

welcome to the new world order


its only a matter of time. its a substance thats as indispensable to the student as gasoline and tobacco. its a place more popular than the library. it came from seattle like nirvana. they both have a star in their logos. honestly, you cant go wrong.

I am now in the process of writing a song for my unborn (and eternally aborted) band which will be featured in a nonexistent lp. I now have exactly two (2) chords which I do not know the names of. they are in the vicinity of A# and G but they sound strange (in a good way). i will call them chris and eddie since they were both in singles. so far i have been repeating chris and eddie over and over and i am satisfied with their hypnotic drone. i have also brainstormed lyrics and have come up with this: sampung taong kumain ng tahong. whoa. to me it sounds vaguely biblical, like a wierd pronouncement from an angel before he kills a third of humankind (psychologists and prophets are like that. vague). even this early i can tell that this is going to be a classic. i predict that girls in starbucks will be singing this song as they lick their plates clean of blueberry cheesecake. i will, of course, refuse to become famous. i will get a handsome proxy to appear in all my music videos so that the world will believe that he is me and he will have a proxy band and proxy instruments. he will have a proxy sports car with proxy babes and proxy product endorsements, which will allow me to continue living in notorious obscurity. now, the insoluble question is: sa ganitong kalokohan ko ba talaga sasayangin ang sembreak ko?

haaay sembreak

wala pa sigurong limang libo para mailabas ito sa isang tabloid

sunny side up

on this green grassy slope
we look out on the world
and laugh at people in general
at all the king's horses
and all the king's men
and happy brown children
playing in the sun

up here you could
name all the stars
trace each others hands
waste each others time
feel bigger than you are
because here
the clouds break like eggshells
and it is always sunset

okay so where was I? oh yeah. so this boy was skipping down the street, you know, absolutely clueless doing a kind of rainman bit, you know. and out of nowhere this bus comes charging down the street. it was blue its, plate was GIN 923 and it was a Love Bus mahn (may tutugtog na bass na may wawa ala seventies funk). you know the type? yeah thats the one. see, there was this girl driving it and this girl really had bad eyesight an all and didnt really see the boy scooting around funnylike across the street until it was too late. so the boy goes splat. you know. instant mush. they say the girl had some lame excuse when taken downtown like "akala ko kasi cartoon". and the police were all over the place like hands on a first date mahn and the question that bugged them was "Bat ngayon lang?" well, in my opinion, the boy had it commin. i mean, he played the rainman bit for so long a time, he been dodgin buses almost all his life you know. probably started thinkin he could do this indefinite like, you grokk? now, the powers that be dont look kindly on hubris like that. what? it means godawful pride mahn. hubris means the fall of man mahn. okay so where was I? oh yeah. so the powers probably said something like "Yan ang akala mo. Eto ang sayo!" And so the Love Bus (may tutugtog na bass na may wawa ala seventies funk) finally caught up with him. he probably saw it rushing at him like the godam furies, headlights at full and he probably couldnt move, the poor turd. he couldnt look away cause everything was so bright for the first time. they say he had this idiotic smile before the end. i guess at that moment he realized he was one doomed dodo.

good story right?

San kaya may mp3 neto?

Invent (Peter Searcy)

I'm scared of you as you are of me. It's nothing new, and there's nothing that we can do, about it. You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you. We could be so perfect. You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you. We could be so perfect.
In the interest of time, I‘ll get straight to the point. You can make me what you want me to be.I can be someone to make you smile, just for a little while.
You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you. We could be so perfect. You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you. We could be so perfect.
If I am not what you want, make me what you need, if you're not what I need, I'll make you what I want.You see I can invent you, to be someone to make me smile just for a little while.
You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you.We could be so perfect.You can invent me, maybe one day I can invent you.We could be so perfect.

ang panday ng quiapo at iba pang mga kwento





parang may nangyaring exploitation dito. wala naman nakuha ang mga taong ito sa nangyari. lahat ng kuha ay sa photographer. kuha, take, capture; ang photography ay pagaangkin. i have their pictures, copyrighted, protected by law, pero yung bata ba may mapapala sa ginawa ko? baka. di ko alam. kaya minsan mas gusto ko magpicture ng mga bagay na walang malay.

One day the great philosopher Thestikles was sitting in the agora eating some kikiam and olives. He saw a fellow philospher passing by and without warning Thestikles gave him a hard blow on the head.
"Pakshet! Why did you hit me Thestikles?"
"I predicted that you were going to hit me today so I made a preemptive strike"
"I was not going to hit you! Why would I hit you?"
"Well, how can you be sure that you wouldn't hit me? Think of all the times I embarassed you in front of the whole lyceum, the time I tripped you in the Olympics, the day I overheard the oracle tell you that your mother will kill you and marry your brother. Can you honestly tell me that deep within your heart you did not want to cause me harm?"
"I agree, I do hate you. And my hate right now is so great that I will strike you now in righteous retribution!"
"But in doing so you make my prediction true and everyone here will know that I, Thestikles, am indeed a great philosopher!"
"Well, then. I will let this pass and show everyone that I am dignified enought not to stoop to such petty violence. Thus, it will be you who will be seen as the villain."
"Admirable move! I am shamed excessively!"
When the other philosopher was gone Thestikles took out a notebook and made a mark. "That makes twenty-five. I think Im getting the hang of this!"
Thus was political science born.

adler was right

i just saw that quote again. the one about how the universe conspires to get you what you want. something like that. its supposed to be inspirational but it doesnt really work for me. if i want to be REALLY motivated, i imagine the exact opposite. i imagine that the world is out to get me, that it wants to keep me down, trip and hamstring me, isubsob ako sa putik, ututan ako sa mukha (see this: http://www.farthammer.com/ ) and various other attrocities. now THAT gets me worked up. after giving myself a pep talk like that i feel i can do anything. i have a feeling terrorists and maligned caregivers in canada think the same way. in the bible, the meek inherit the earth, pero magaamok muna siguro sila para mangyari yoon. we underdogs dont bite, we gnaw you with dull teeth into easy to chew sections!

nothing like suiting up, zipping shut and walking out into a storm. storms make me think that there is a God. and that he cant touch me inside my brown jacket. like an astronaut. astro cigarettes. ASTRO CIGARETTES! (torotot solo)

another productive day at the library! after a whole day of research i have come up with a list of names to name the band i will form sometime in the future:
gansen roces, nippleblack, mister pogi, alamat ng libag, moratorium on hope, the exciting excretions, the amazing excretions, the covalent band, boots of blinding speed, absolutely no change, yaya niyari ni kuya, backwards man, plague pox and pestilence, cesar asar, mahiwagang kabute, dinoceros, burrhus freidrick, jung and horney, metronomicon, rodolfo the red-horse ranger, opposable bum, the enola gays, manly the eunuch, maitim na bulak (aka the eskinols)

if you want, you can vote for your favorite name and we can have a raffle so that the winner will be allowed to name his/her firstborn child after our band. names are what great bands are made of. who needs talent?

patay na si tagboard? mejo boring tong blog pag walang feedback. I need an audience. Maglagay ren kaya ako ng backblog?

a word from my sponsor



the beer bottle is from this site : http://hometown.aol.com/rathole2331/red_horse.html
the editing of course is mine
by the way, that site is hilarious
fucking hilarious
marlon, juls, basahin nyo iyon

help me and i'll be your friend
 
Photo contest presented by Canon Phils. with the Philippine DailyInquirer and cbv7 Mediamasters (headed by Chito Vecina)

Prizes:1st Canon EOS-1D Mark II DSLR
2nd Canon EOS 10D Kit
3rd Canon EOS 300D Kit
10 Consolation prizes: P2,000 worth of Gift Certificates

Contest mechanics:
1. The contest is open to all professional and amateur Filipinophotographers.
2. The focus of the contest is candid wedding photos. Entries shouldcapture sidelights and unguarded moments of a Filipino wedding,the laughter and tears that make the event special and unique .
3. Entries should cover an actual wedding.
4. Contestants can use either digital or conventional film camera.
5. A participant can submit a maximum of five entries. Photos should beprinted in 8x10 inches, without borders, unmounted. Nodigital enhancement or desktop printout will be allowed.
6. The original negative and data file should be submitted together withthe entry.
7. An entry should have a title. The participant must put his/ hercomplete name, address, contact information, and signature on theback of the photo.
8. The participant must own the copyright of the entry.
9. Each entry should be put in a brown envelope.
10. The contest is from June 30, 2004 to November 19, 2004.
11. Entries should be submitted to the Philippine Daily Inquirer (c/oMarketing department: Hazel Soriaga, Masoy Cabuhat), ChinoRoces Avenue, Makati City.
12. Entry must be exclusive to the contest, unpublished and must nothave been submitted to other contests.
13. Criteria: Relevance to the theme (30%), composition (30%), andcreativity (40%). Officers from Canon Phils., Philippine DailyInquirer and cbv7 Mediamasters will be present during the judgement atthe Philippine Daily Inquirer Building, Chino Roces Avenuecorner Yague and Mascardo Sts., Makati City, on Nov. 24, 2 p.m.
14. Winners will be notified through phone and mail. Their names willalso be published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer.
15. Only entries received on or before Nov. 19, 2004 will qualify forthe contest. Participants may send more than one entry but canonly win once.
16. Prizes will be claimed at the Philippine Daily Inquirer within (60)days from receipt of notification. Winning entries will be displayedduring the bridal fair, “Wedding March at NBC Tent,” presented by PDIand cbv7 Mediamasters, on Jan. 22-23, 2005.
17. Winners must present valid I.D. and proofs of ownership in CD (fordigital shots raw image) or negatives (for film-based shots).
18. The decision of the board of judges is final.
19. Employees of Canon Phils., Philippine Daily Inquirer Inc., cbv7Mediamasters and their advertising agency, dealers andparticipating outlets, and their relatives up to the second degree ofconsanguinity, are disqualified.
20. All entries, winning or non-winning prints, will be the property of Canon Phils. Philippine Daily Inquirer reserves the right to publishor display the entries, winning or non-winning, without permission orpayment of any kind to the their owners. The owners will beacknowledged, however.
Wedding March at the NBC Tent, Jan. 22-23, 2005 
 

aids: hoy tsong. hoy. alam mo ba yung pag nakakatulog yung hita mo okaya yung braso mo, men? yung parang may naipit na ugat o kung ano man men? wla kang maramdaman tapos pag biglang nagising na, nag sirkuleyt na ulet, parang kuryenteng nangingilo yung bisig mo? alam mo ba yon men? ha?
 
mute: dude its called pins and needles
 
aids: ah yon nga pensenedel. pensenedel. eto kasi. sumakay ako ng jeep, eh mejo masikip kaya kalahati lang ng pwet ko yung nakalapat sa upuan. sa bandang coastal nakaupo na ren ako ng maayos. tas yun na nga. na pensenedel ako. hindi basta basta pensenedel men. sa gitna pa ng hita ko. dun pa mismo kay mr quickie men!
 
mute: you mean you got pins and needles in your saturn V dude?! bitchin!
 
aids: hinde nakakatuwa men. ano ba yan five na yan? banda ba? anyway, yun nga. parang kinukuryente ka men. hinde ko malaman kung maiihe ako. parang yung ginagawa siguro dun sa mga na martial law dati. yung kakabitan ng wire yung bayag tapos kokoryentehen ka. parang ganun men. tapos nawala. buti nalang, di ko alam kung makakalakad ako ng ganun. sikip kasi ng brip ko eh.
 
mute: have you tried boxers?
 
aids: hindi pa eh pero marunong ako magbadminton.
 
(end act one, lights fade to black)

Flowers For Algernon. Beautiful book. Classic scifi meets Of Mice and Men. Im not big on book reviews but I will say this: There are two (2) things you need to do in life

1) Find yourself

and then

2) Give yourself to another

everything else are elaborations to the maze. This thesis, of course, requires further testing.

Ivory tower

new vistas
lower upkeep
same psychology
mahal ng pamasahe
"bakit walang nagrarally?" (Abay, circa 1994)

We all pay

i often wonder what it would be like to be really really poor. maglimos para lang sa pagkain, pamasahe, pasa load. then i think the worst thing about begging would not be not getting any money but being ignored like you are dirt. and so brothers and sisters, if a grubby man asks you for money, at least have the decency to look him in the eye and acknowledge that you are talking to a person before telling him to stop pawing at your nike jacket.

Coconut kingdom

I think we as a people never really meant to have a democracy. It probably seemed a good idea at the time (the 19th century) to have your own constitution and be able to pick your own president. But democracy has never been a concept native to us, and a century of role-playing has turned it sour in our guts. People don’t register, people don’t vote, and people don’t believe the results. The cities have dynastic mayors and the provinces are held by fat landlords. Elections and appointments are won through tribute, obeisance or lineage. What the people really want is someone who gives an impression of virtue and authority; they want charisma, pageantry and showmanship; they want someone they can name their children after. They do not want presidents, they want kings.

office haiku

should have known i'd get
tired of pushing paper
to make way for more