a prodigal story

chalice

i thought this story lost but now its found. written in 2001, it explores two hypotheses. one is: since jesus was a carpenter, what happened to all the stuff he made? it was supposed to be part of a larger piece. i was imitating Eco not Brown.

leavetaking

para sa aming kaklase na nasagot na ang lahat ng tanong


cha 2006 (right-click save as)

it made me sad
to know we'll never know
the thoughts behind the butterflies
the flowers hiding smiles
i hoped that we would talk someday
but now we're out of time
never even said goodbye

you remembered feyerabend
nobody remembers him
but you remembered feyerabend
you remembered me
and i'll remember you

we try our hand at making sense
we laugh when we don't quite
i'm just trying to say goodbye

you remembered feyerabend
nobody remembers him
but you remembered feyerabend
you remembered me
i remember everything
that will never be
you remembered feyerabend
you remembered me
and i'll remember you

healthy eating for sick creatures

i am a silly disgusting man. nothing new

An Aborted Universe

Exactly three years ago a role-playing campaign was begun and was left unfinished. Its really such a waste. I take playing God very seriously. When I design a world I want it to have enough culture to fool an anthropologist. Myths, rites of passage, hero stories, exotic food, beliefs about the afterlife, quaint swear words, bizarre sexual customs, the works. It is all excessive on a crazy baroque level since most of it will never be relevant in terms of actual gameplay. Gamers are not aesthetes and its hard to appreciate the ambiance if you have to keep track of hitpoints, gold pieces, the name of the whoreson who stole your bag of holding, etcetera.

Gamers have a Teleological philosophy in the Aristotelian sense. Things exist for a purpose. A +3 assassin's dagger is meant to stab human or humanlike creatures in the back (that is its Final Cause) and so it is a good gamers duty to fulfill the natural order and go find someone to stab in the back. It is hard to argue with such clear reasoning. It is my job to facilitate gamers self-actualizing tendencies and need for violence (DMing is a lot like therapy) while keeping the intricate social fabric responsive and noticable from time to time. Though it is a losing battle, I try to keep everying logical and believable, from the battles to the rubbish in the dungeon cells.

What's really so fascinating about role-playing is the illusion of freedom that is willingly assumed by the gamers. For it to work the players should have the feeling that they are actually in control of their destiny, or at least the destiny of their made up characters. It is the DM's job to make that happen, to make players believe in their self-efficacy, their ability to control (it so happens all of these are psychological constructs). If this is properly done the illusion will be successful, the game will be able to give gamers the feeling of Power. King Kong on speed. Novus Ordo Saeclorum.

"Though its only a clever game" lyrics from Sunny Day Real Estate's "One" and quite true in the case of role-playing. It was Rousseau who said that the illusion of freedom was sufficient in terms of educating the young, meaning real freedom for teenagers was preposterous. Liberty is always sacrificed to order. Role-playing is ultimately a story, and all actions and events should contribute to the grand scheme however obscure. Sudden plot twists, deus ex machina, the bait and switch, cunning yet very obvious clues, diabolical traps, recurrent meetings with a hooded stranger who turns out to be the king's sexy illegitimate daughter who is also a level 10 summoner, the disguised villains in scoobydoo, it all satisfies one thing: the dark humor of the Creator (in this case, Me). Makes you wonder whether its really that easy to make people believe that they are the masters of their fates in real life (actually there are very intriguing experiments on this theme).

In the end, just trying to make an almost believable microcosm is already half of the fun so its not all bad. Like it said in Foucault's Pendulum, its really lonely work being God but someones gotta do it

Game log from October 21, 2003 here
Game log from October 23, 2003 here
Game log from October 30, 2003 here
Game log from November 5, 2003 here
The Races here
The Pantheon here
The Wierd of House Middletower (unfinished) here
The Bright Prince (unfinished) here

Do It Yourself Metaphysics

What follows is a manifesto, a plagiarism, a parody

A Provisional Creed (091006)

1. I believe in an objective reality, one that is composed of the matter and forces of nature;
2. I believe in a subjective reality of the mind that arises from and is concommitant to the objective reality but not entirely commensurable with it;
3. I believe that all phenomena (both objective and subjective) are ultimately caused by matter and forces of nature;
4. I believe that all phenomena (both objective and subjective) can be reduced to simpler or more elementary forms;
5. I believe that all phenomena (both objective and subjective) follow from necessary causal relationships that limit and determine all events in time;
6. I believe that all significance derives from the subjective reality;
7. I believe that all statements about the objective reality, which necessarily arise from the subjective reality, contain the possibility of error because of the incommensurability of the objective and the subjective;
8. I believe that all beliefs have the possibility of being proved false in the future;
9. I believe that 8 applies to all statements before it, including itself.

I contradict

Avilon Zoo - September 2006

Greenberg and the Milgram experiments

one of those brain itches i get from time to time is the squeaky problem of ethics of the arts and sciences. and a very good question for that is whether ends can really justify means. we will take two cases for analysis: controversial photographer jill greenberg and controversial social psychologist stanley milgram

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/gallery/image/0,,-1010329538560,00.html

jill greenberg's claim to fame/infamy is her series of photographs that feature portraits of young children in obvious distress. the photos are visually arresting and effective. but more interesting was the method: snatch candies from the subjects and then capturing the moment of shock/anguish/anger. the kind of thing they the images have clear human interest and has great composition. in short, it is good art. greenberg assures us that the lollipops were returned to the children within 30 seconds and everything was with parental consent. but then again is all that a good enough excuse for something that might amount to exploitation?

Still on the subtly sinister genre we have Stanley Milgram's classic experiments on obedience to authority. Like any good psych experiment the concept is both simple and ingenious. Volunteers are instructed to "train" a "subject" (who is actually an accomplice of the experimenter). The "training" includes a mechanism whereby the volunteers must administer "electric shocks" to the "subject" as a "punishment" for "mistakes" (the annoying quotation marks are to show that most of what happens is scripted, and the accomplice only pretends to be shocked because there is no real electricity used). Eventually the volunteer (who remains clueless as to the real objective of the experiment) is asked by a man in a lab coat to increase the "voltage" steadily with each "mistake", the highest possible being 450V. It was discovered that most volunteers (about 70%) would obey and continue the experiment even if the "subject" they are "punishing" is showing clear distress. The implications of Milgram's research are far reaching but the question remains: given that the results were important and contributed to human knowledge, was it justified, was it ok to decieve the volunteers and expose them to the distress of going through an experiment that in a way manipulated their emotions to an extent? Did the ends justify the means?

Of course it is expected of both artists and scientists to push boundaries, but shouldn't the line be drawn somewhere? I admit that being a social scientist I know that the temptation of designing research insensitive to human dignity is very real. "The Truman Show" pretty much sums up a psychologist's wet dream (or repressed desire). And how about the arts, with Prophet Mohammed cartoons in an increasingly volatile world, should artists bow down to political correctness? So, how far can you go before you find yourself becoming a rapist?

balita galing sa pahayagang plaridel, agosto 25, 2006:













isang dibuho ukol sa pangyayari:

Now here's a song that comes straight from the heart. This is one that we guys can really relate to


Friends wit u (mp3, 2.6 mb)
by sonicmute

girl
stop playing with yourself
dont do that when youre driving
youre gonna get us hurt

i see
you really really want me
its ok i understand
if i were you i'd want me too

gotta hear me out babe
before you take off that dress
these jeans are button fly
so quit yankin' on my pants

just wanna be friends wit you
dont really wanna screw
just wanna be friends wit you
ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh

just wanna be friends wit you
dont really wanna screw
just wanna be friends wit you
ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh

sorry
i cant let you have my body
no i dont do it for money
but i have some friends who do

there's nothing wrong with you
so please dont be upset
its just that some girls
make me not want to have sex


Now you too can play along on your guitar!
Intro: hard to show here
Verse: B Asus2 Dbm F#m
Pre-chorus: E B
Chorus: D C G

2006 TOYCON Megatrade Hall

OTS - Kalayaan
on the spot contest na sponsored ng federacion

On Conspiracies and Scholarship

kahit napanuod ko na, hindi pa rin ako tagahanga ni dan brown hanggang ngayon pero mejo nakakakilabot na ata pag ganito

dahil naaalala ko ang isang di hamak na maganda ring libro na ito:



pero sangayon naman ako sa isang linya sa tdc na "the mind sees what it wants to see" na totoo at maaari mo ring sabihen tungkol sa may akda msimo ng tdc.

dati tumambay ako sa books for less at nakita ko ang librong ito:



ayon sa site (http://24hour-store.com/media/Religion/17059.htm):

Scott Huse explains a series of fatal flaws in the proof structure of biological evolutionary theories. He aptly deals with proofs commonly cited by evolutionists, including the fossil horse series, vestigial organs, and comparative anatomy. He also brings out biblical evidence for creationism and states that evolution and biblical creationism are mutually exclusive and cannot be reconciled

binasa ko ang ilang mga argumento nito at dahil mahina ang background ko sa physics mejo napaisip ako at muntik ng mabenta sa mga ideya nito tulad ng:

1 - Earth's magnetic field - The strength of the earth's magnetic field has been measured for over a 100 years. In a recent study, Dr. Thomas G. Barnes has shown that the earth's magnetic field is decaying at rate of 1/2 life every 1400 years; that means that the earth's magnetic field was twice as strong 1400 years ago as it is now. If the earth was even as old as 10, 000 years it's magnetic field would be as strong as a star! That is impossible! The earth could not possibly be any older than 10, 000 years! (The earth's magnetic field is caused by electric currents in the earth's core. If we go back as far as 20, 000 years, we find that the heat produced by those currents would have melted the earth).

okaya ng:

The rotation of the earth is gradually slowing due to the gravitational drag of the sun, moon and other factors. If the earth is billions of years old as the Evolutionist believes, then its present rotation should be zero. Furthermore, if we go back for several billion years, the centrifugal force would have been so great that the continents would have been sent to the equator and the earth would have been as flat as a pancake. Christopher Columbus took care of that theory long ago.

ano nabenta ba kayo? sa sobrang komplikado ng mga ideya parang mapapatungo ka nalang ng "ser, yes ser". dapat na ba naten ipagkalat na na pinagkakaisahan tayong mga ordinaryong tao ng mga espesyalista at dalubhasa para maitago ang katotohanan na kasinungalingan ang evolution!? ha! minsan slow ako pero hindi uto-uto!

mapangakit talaga ang mga ganyang klaseng teorya at dahil "the mind sees what it wants to see" ang mga tamad mag basa at magsaliksik ay madaling maging disipolo. siguro inis lang ako sa "cut-n-paste" na kulturang namumuo sa bisa ng internet; sa sobrang dami ng impormasyong ibubulwak sa iyo ng isang search query nahihirapan na ang mga taong magisip ng kritikal. quantity nga pero quality ba? pwede bot?

kaya mga kapatid, magbasa, magisip, magduda, at magingat sa pulis!

subic bay, april 2006

somewhere in outer space...


"I think we've seen enough. The atrocities being committed on planet earth make it clear that we must eradicate human beings at once."

Question time! And the question is: Do you think the Da Vinci Code movie will be banned from screening in the Philippines? I'm not asking whether it should be banned or not, I leave that to you, but the factors that will lead to permission or repression is not a religious matter but a function of business and politics.

Its long and not funny so read here

SangangDaan (mp3, 2.04 mb)

ako ang
isinuka ng
umagang
nagaabang
hindi humihinga

tanda pa
ang iginuhit na larawan
napunit na
nasagasaan pa

sanga-sangang daan
sanga-sangang daan

sira na
ang makina at pinasok
ng ulan
kinain ng damo at kalawang

kapos ang
isang gabing
inutang lamang
para bagtasin
ang nagdaan

sanga-sangang daan
bakas ng nagdaan
sapatos pinag lumaan
pabalikbalik lang
sanga-sangang daan

SHEBANG: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

2003

2004

2006

shempre laging wala ako

Mga Paalala

Hindi po "may bigote" ang ibig sabihen ng "bigoted"
Hindi po "little injection" ang binibigay sa mga binibitay na preso
Hindi po si che guevarra ang bokalista ng rage against the machine band

whenever the military is used to enforce peace on civilians its kinda like petting a puppy with a spiked gauntlet. look to the countryside tonight and if you try hard enough you might hear the sound of dissidents dying. pray that the night passes quickly

from www.inq7.net:

...NOW, THEREFORE, I Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, President of the Republic of the Philippines and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, by virtue of the powers vested upon me by Section 18, Article 7 of the Philippine Constitution which states that: “ The President…whenever it becomes necessary,…may call out (the) armed forces to prevent or suppress…rebellion…, “ and in my capacity as their Commander-in-Chief, do hereby command the Armed Forces of the Philippines, to maintain law and order throughout the Philippines, prevent or suppress all forms of lawless violence as well any act of insurrection or rebellion and to enforce obedience to all the laws and to all decrees, orders and regulations promulgated by me personally or upon my direction; and as provided in Section 17, Article 12 of the Constitution do hereby declare a State of National Emergency.

kilala n'yo ba si Subas Herrero?

eto ang aking Champoy tribute song. suportahan po natin ang musikang pilipino. magingat sa pulis. mabuhay ang lahing hapon! U buy now!

alay_sa_nagkamalay_noong_panahon_ng_champoy.mp3 (2 mb)

tinapos ko ren sa wakas! dahil gusto ko sana manalo ng gantimpalang salapi mula sa pa-kontes ng foolybook. sana ay basahin at punahin dahil kailingan ko ng mga koment at kritiko, hndi kaibigan

The Lockpick Apprentice

para sa isang babaeng may bigote

untitled.mp3

Little girl you are lovely sleeping
I'll never make you understand
Never knew what hearts would find
Never love you enough but
We try

Little girl you are always stealing
Into my thoughts, time and again
Can't imagine you'd be gone someday
Never love you enough but
We pray

And never will forget the way
You keep us whole
And never will forget the way
You are our soul

And we will run through endless mornings
And we will live in better days

An Evolutionary Theory of Clown Phobia

I present here a tentative theory explaining the phobia of clowns. Clown phobia is surprisingly less rare than one might imagine (there is at least one case in every Genpsyc class that I have). I posit that the irrational fear of clowns might be an adaptation that can be traced to our ancestral past, much like preference for large breasts and the taste of fat. It is probable that early hominids encoutered bands of wild clowns (homo ridiculus) on the African savannah. The prehistoric humans were likely terrified by the wild clowns' savagery (e.g. they bonked each other on the head with hyena bones). Human groups that mated with the wild clown species probably died out because of stupidity, so that natural selection would favor the humans who were aversive to clowns. This clown aversion quickly proliferated among successful human groups and thus we probably all carry genes that determine clown phobia, although phenotypic expression will of course be mediated by other factors (such as exposure to modern day clown species)

Believe me, I know these things


Primitive african clown (Late Pleistocene) and Modern clown

the majesty of small things
shot using my skanky outer space macro gun from outer space
(click to enlarge)