theft has always been an appealing idea to me. it speaks of sneakiness and cunning, which are of course admirable qualities. in my opinion, theft is more subtle than robbery. stealth and not force is key to successful theiving. the suburban incarnation of theivery is shoplifting, or lifting. rich and poor alike participate in this perversion, for varying motives. there are several pointers to remember when engaging in a lift. first is the dress code. i firmly believe that clothes do not make a man. however, clothes can make statements and you don't want to wear one that screams "theif!". always look nice when you intend to pilfer. nothing flashy, just decent. girls should not look flirty, unless they are accomplices, in which case they serve as excellent decoys. second is to provide yourself with suitable parapharnalia to secure your loot. deep pockets, handbags, whatever is suitable. even better is to use props bought at the store itself to further reduce suspicion. girls should look into the value of long skirts for concealment purposes. third, you should practice your movements before and after the lift. never make eye contact. linger often on random items and pretend interest. you could even buy a few things to allay suspicion. if you think its appropriate, inquire about a few items but do not prolong the conversation to the point that you wont be easily forgotten. be faceless, unremarkable, very forgettable. fourth, know your prey. familiarize yourself with the system. know how many guards they have and how active they are at preventing theft. watch for mirrors and cameras. consider the possibility of plainclothes personnel who could be spying on customers. most stores are on high alert during busy days like sales or christmas, so best to keep your hands idle during these times. lastly, always prepare to be caught. note escape routes or possible places to ditch the evidence. don't panic, at least not inside the store. it would be best to wear running shoes or to wear extra clothes for a quick change. there is one other thing to watch out for, and you might not see it coming. it is more insidious than any theif and it will be your undoing. no stupid, its not love. beware of greed.