yes boy, you know nothing



not one of my best shots but i like it anyway

RHCP - My Friends
My friends are so depressed
I feel the question
Of your loneliness
Confide... 'cause I'll be on your side
You know I will, you know I will

X Girlfriend called me up
Alone and desperate
On the prison phone
They want... to give her 7 years
For being sad

Chorus :
I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

My friends are so distressed
And standing on
The brink of emptiness
No words... I know of to express
This emptiness

Chorus :
Imagine me taught by tragedy
Release is peace
I heard a little girl
And what she said
Was something beautiful
To give... your love
No matter what

teaching is probably the closest ill get to being in mass media. if im lucky, there will actually be 4-5 people out of 40 who will actually listen. thats enough to start a terrorist cell. gnarly.

ang mga higante ay di yumuyuko.
at hindi makukulong ang isang isip na nakapagpasya
na tumayo at sagutin ang mundo.
dahil ang taong malayang pumili ay bathala.

stephen king called it a "roundness". its the quality of some well crafted stories wherein everything comes together and there are no loose ends. where the ellipses are completed. where everything gains Significance. you see the roundness when things happen just so, when events make poetic statements, when the killer realizes his mortal blow was dealt by a victims daughter, when it is revealed that the last leaf was held through the storm by the german guy, when luke meets his father, when ahab meets moby dick, when you realize soylent green is people, when you realize who kaiser soze really is, when you realize "there was no aaron counselor", when it all comes full circle, a nice, closed curve. i feel that roundness right now; the gladness at the end of a good story.

[note that circles are defined by constant things (a radius) and ridiculously irrational things (like the value of pi). i think you can relate that to life somehow but i'll leave that part to somebody else (this is what happens when you read Cryptonomicon)]

this is what would happen if i say everything i think of ALL of the time

professor: ...is of course the most widely used method to insure randomization of... yes mister galang, you were raising you're hand?
galang: sir, i think we have neglected to discuss one method of data gathering that has proven useful throughout history and enjoys widespread application even now.
professor: talaga?! i'm sure we have covered... well, okay, what data gathering method do you have in mind?
galang: interrogation with torture sir.
professor: (nervous laugh) oh. well. you have a good sense of humor mister galang. we of course know that ethically spe...
galang: i am particularly interested in the question of whether there will be a change in responses to a personality inventory if the participants are made to complete it while their feet are dipped in battery acid and...
professor: (hypertensive fuming) mister galang! hesusmariahosef! this has gone far en...
galang: ...there is of course difficulty in application. little children will be especially tricky and would require more "creative" manipulation...
professor: (apoplectic convulsing) eeek! (thud)
galang: sir? pwede ko bang gawing thesis eto? sir?
professor: (post-mortem drooling)

storms are great. almost as good as a burning building. hindi naman ako yung tipong lagi nalang "astig! gulo, pinsala, kamatayan!". hindi naman palagi. nakakamangha lang talaga pagnakakakita ka ng display of elemental force. like being drawn to the beauty of a nuclear mushroom cloud. appreciate abstractions.


storm appreciation (or tropical repression)

keep your umbrella, i'll walk in the storm
where pneumonias are born
we'll cut to the chase and bleed out the warmth

ill weather it fits me like spandex on thighs
like the crush of a vise
i'll sing and i'll shout as the clouds capsize

flowers in flood and puddles in bloom
no sun and no moon
just me in a brown polyester cocoon

you'll sweat like ice, it rains like blood
the everlasting glut
when you're lord of the frogs and god of the mud

and then Virgil said "At dito naman ay ang impyerno ng mga masasamang silya na hindi nagsisimba, nagrorosaryo o nagkukumpisal. sila ren yung mga may drawing ng etits at may mga nakaukit na formula sa physics. kung mapapansin mo lahat sila ay right-handed. all right handed chairs go to hell". and then Dante said "bakit?". and then Virgil said "Sorry, you must ask your question in the form of an answer" then Dante said "lousy tour guide"

-Dante's Inferno Special DVD Edition, Canto III (yung may ihawan)

primetime tv is not worth it. its either news or its trash. the encyclopedia britannica is more entertaining. like the article on a french poet, playwright and misogynist (someone who feels contempt for females). it ends abruptly with the statement "Fearing blindness, he died by his own hand". now what can you say about a man like that? may sayad lang ba talaga sya o malakas lang talaga ang paninindigan nya kahit gano kabaluktot? ano kaya ang mga sumagi sa isip nya bago sya naging multo? minahal kaya sya ng nanay nya? breastfed kaya sya o Lactum? I am someone good at finding answers, but the first piece of real wisdom i have learned in 22 years is that sometimes there aren't any, or its not worth finding.

i call it "the arsonist sleeps and someone is coming". i can also call it "waiting for santa claus". it looks much better bigger

being an arsonist is one of my fantasy vocations, along with being a professional thief, being a 16th century mercenary-scholar and being a xenobiologist (someone who studies biota on other planets). there's something romantic about burning buildings. its good to know that i can still draw.

walangyang hangin toh andumi dumi. pag uwi ko nalang laging anlaki ng kulangot ko. parang lagi nalang ako may ubo. tapos halos lahat pa ng kabarkada ko nagyoyosi. dun nalang kaya ako magdorm sa lung center. bayaran pa siguro nila ako para mapagaralan nila ang aking organ-formerlly-known-as-lungs. sana pwede ko pa trade-in yung baga ko. kaya lang kahit pang bopis ata wala nang kukuha neto. samahan ko kaya ng kidney? pwede mo kaya ibenta ang mga daliri mo sa paa sa black market? di ko naman sila masyadong ma mimis. siguro mahihirapn lang ako tumakbo at sumayaw pero mangangalahati ang trabaho ng pagkukuko. fair trade. gusto ko sanang bumili ng masmahahabang daliri sa kamay. may mga chord na mahirap pag maiksi daliri. titingin nga ako sa buy and sell. siguradong meron dun. kung meron sa inyong may extrang daliri na gustong magbenta i ym nyo nalang ako. sana pag isang set may discount. maganda ren siguro kung puro index finger nalang noh? gusto ko ren sana bumili ng bigote. yung makapal. yung pang sabotage ng beastie boys. yung pang josef stalin. para magkamukha na kami ni chichi. groovy.

since im not man enough to read it without flinching all the time its probably better if i leave it alone. all the bad mojo im feeding myself is gonna ruin my 2nd sem momentum. gotta get myself some euphoria morning and run in the park. ive been told that running is good for the heart. and there is still christmas to look forward to. its always good to have things to look forward to. i need a new bike.

papal power

the only requirement for becoming pope is that you have to be catholic. technically i could be pope one day. or someone could make this into a reality tv show. The Fisherman's Apprentice. Vying for Vicar. Miter My Turn. The All New Inquisition. Dude Where are My Keys? (Vatican Idol wouldnt be right since idolatry is a sin) well, if i become pope i will immediately call for the cannonization of Jeff Buckley. The Most Excellent and Melancholy Saint Jeff Buckley.

(whispher from off-stage) is he even catholic?

ha? ano ngayon? ako ang papa kaya shut up you heretic you. gusto mong makatikim ng x-com (isang term na ipapauso ni papa mute). i am DaRak!

im reading shogun to pass the time. its nice and thick so it gives good mileage for my money. the japanese have the cutest names for dicks and fucking. Peerless Pestle, Heavenly Spear, spraying Joyful Juice into Enchanted Chambers. maybe i can think of othrs. Velvet Pagoda? Esteemed Siege Cannon? My Big Fat Katana with Scabbard? japanese are fun

fak you chris cornell youre so sexy i want to suck your pick

Cant Change Me


She can do anything at all
Have anything she pleases
The power to change what she thinks is wrong
So what could she want with me?

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she’s trying to read me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me
No she can’t change me

She has the daylight at her command
She gives the night it’s dreams
She can uncover your darkest fear
And make you forget you feel it

But wait just one minute more
I can see that she’s trying to free me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me

Suddenly I can see everything that’s wrong with me
But what can I do?
I’m the only thing I really have at all

But wait just one minute here
I can see that she’s trying to need me
Suddenly I know

She’s going to change the world
But she can’t change me
No she can’t change me

welcome to the new world order


its only a matter of time. its a substance thats as indispensable to the student as gasoline and tobacco. its a place more popular than the library. it came from seattle like nirvana. they both have a star in their logos. honestly, you cant go wrong.

I am now in the process of writing a song for my unborn (and eternally aborted) band which will be featured in a nonexistent lp. I now have exactly two (2) chords which I do not know the names of. they are in the vicinity of A# and G but they sound strange (in a good way). i will call them chris and eddie since they were both in singles. so far i have been repeating chris and eddie over and over and i am satisfied with their hypnotic drone. i have also brainstormed lyrics and have come up with this: sampung taong kumain ng tahong. whoa. to me it sounds vaguely biblical, like a wierd pronouncement from an angel before he kills a third of humankind (psychologists and prophets are like that. vague). even this early i can tell that this is going to be a classic. i predict that girls in starbucks will be singing this song as they lick their plates clean of blueberry cheesecake. i will, of course, refuse to become famous. i will get a handsome proxy to appear in all my music videos so that the world will believe that he is me and he will have a proxy band and proxy instruments. he will have a proxy sports car with proxy babes and proxy product endorsements, which will allow me to continue living in notorious obscurity. now, the insoluble question is: sa ganitong kalokohan ko ba talaga sasayangin ang sembreak ko?

haaay sembreak

wala pa sigurong limang libo para mailabas ito sa isang tabloid

sunny side up

on this green grassy slope
we look out on the world
and laugh at people in general
at all the king's horses
and all the king's men
and happy brown children
playing in the sun

up here you could
name all the stars
trace each others hands
waste each others time
feel bigger than you are
because here
the clouds break like eggshells
and it is always sunset

okay so where was I? oh yeah. so this boy was skipping down the street, you know, absolutely clueless doing a kind of rainman bit, you know. and out of nowhere this bus comes charging down the street. it was blue its, plate was GIN 923 and it was a Love Bus mahn (may tutugtog na bass na may wawa ala seventies funk). you know the type? yeah thats the one. see, there was this girl driving it and this girl really had bad eyesight an all and didnt really see the boy scooting around funnylike across the street until it was too late. so the boy goes splat. you know. instant mush. they say the girl had some lame excuse when taken downtown like "akala ko kasi cartoon". and the police were all over the place like hands on a first date mahn and the question that bugged them was "Bat ngayon lang?" well, in my opinion, the boy had it commin. i mean, he played the rainman bit for so long a time, he been dodgin buses almost all his life you know. probably started thinkin he could do this indefinite like, you grokk? now, the powers that be dont look kindly on hubris like that. what? it means godawful pride mahn. hubris means the fall of man mahn. okay so where was I? oh yeah. so the powers probably said something like "Yan ang akala mo. Eto ang sayo!" And so the Love Bus (may tutugtog na bass na may wawa ala seventies funk) finally caught up with him. he probably saw it rushing at him like the godam furies, headlights at full and he probably couldnt move, the poor turd. he couldnt look away cause everything was so bright for the first time. they say he had this idiotic smile before the end. i guess at that moment he realized he was one doomed dodo.

good story right?